When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
How do you say happy birthday to someone you fuck occasionally that almost got you arrested? Like what do I text.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize