Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
I told him we couldn't have sex because I was ovulating and "I come from fertile people."
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, rendered a whole bar silent last night when I told a guy to take off his panties and take a shot out of my cleavage. Video to follow...
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize