Tell Heather sorry for burning her hair. Also for anything else that I may have done that warrants and apology. Anything after about 10pm is kind of hazy.
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
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was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
I woke up naked with a $20 bill taped to my titty, so I must of had fun.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
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