Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
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I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
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I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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