Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
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you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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