so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
I'm in Burlington Coat Factory. This place'd be great if you were on E. There're so many textures...
I'm kinda hoping that if I rub the right object, a genie will come out
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Wait do we still get bagels if no one got laid
I know it doesn't seem right, but sometimes, bagels are just flat out called for.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
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