1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
My liver just broke up with me...
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
btw good call for not making out for a pitcher of vodka, this hangover is bad enough
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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