You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
The man at the Honda dealership told me I smell like vodka and probably shouldn't be driving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
Well the streak is over, I saw a penis today
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I'm on the fast track to lesbian land
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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