is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
He shit in the fireplace
Dude I pissed in her little brother's closet and when I tried to flush the doorknob her parents came out and saw me standing there naked, no more ambien for me
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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