Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
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I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I imagine I kinda look like a banana with one boob out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
Sitting in my kitchen at 3am, craving dick and eating peanut butter instead. I'm not sure how I feel about being 27.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
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