I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
thank you for reminding me that I stumbled into a public place drunk at 9am wearing a chicks pants.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am still STD free so as far as I am concerned I never went to panama.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
I remember telling you that I think Taylor Swift has stolen my essence. I still think that's true.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Randomize