Let's just have a brief moment of silence for my dignity before we start tonight
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
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