So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I want to start this convo out by apologizing for the broken toaster.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize