I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize