At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just woke up in the hotel with gummi bears all around me and someone took the tv
we took the tv and as for the gummi bears don't eat them you put em in her vagina
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
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