We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
cab driver gave us mini bottles of jd for the ride home & proceeded to run every red light. wonder how many bottles he drank.
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
I literally have a bandage on my dick that's how bad she is at handjobs
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
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