Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
I'm going to community service drunk, and I'm still going to be the most normal person there.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
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Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Then you ran outside and said you were gonna give the snowman a blowjob
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
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You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
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