How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
What part of i'm handcuffed to an oven do you not understand?
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only thing that got rode last night was the shit face train. I brought him home to see wht all the hype was about and he just started crying and puking in my bathroom.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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