I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
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if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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