just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
trying to fathom saturday night and the fact that Rainn Wilson now hates me. my brain hurts.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I was hidding Easter eggs in CHURCH this morning when one of the older men came up to me and said "I always knew you'd be a bunny just not the Easter kind" ... Our congregation obviously has high hopes for their pastor's daighter
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tell him next time im gonna be "disgrace to the family" drunk
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
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