It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
We asked an illegal alien to buy us beer. He didn't even want a tip. I'm going to Washington to plead that case.
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If its allowed to Tornado at 830am then Im allowed to have a beer and a cigarette at 830am
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
Randomize