Nope changed our mind. Decided your strange bacon like body odor wasn't what we want to smell tonight.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
DICK-CITY HERE WE COME
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
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