I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize