He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cop told me I was the prettiest guy he'd arrested in a while. I'm still not sure if it was a come on or not.
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I am high. And my mom surpised me today. Now i am high and with my mom....bad idea
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