There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Oh, and that ugly chick transformed into a veritable goddess when she came back at 3AM with a handle of vodka and 100 chicken wings
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Actually I think I might be dying right now so if I do you have to drink all my vodka
You're so demanding.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
Randomize