i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found the puke drawer
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize