1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
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he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
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Your penis chewing exercise is not working
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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