Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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