Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
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It's official. I am the proud owner of his very own sex tape. Amateur awesome porn or awful delete-me-now porn? Come over help me decide.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
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GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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