no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
did i walk over a car last night?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am now the only person in my apartment who hasn't had sex in my bed.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
I take it you're alive?
Mostly. Can't quite control my arms.
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
Randomize