"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
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my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
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My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
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