is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
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a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
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His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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