I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
there really is only one way to give a PowerPoint presentation in your senior capstone class: still drunk.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
I masterbated to the rocky theme song. I'm pretty sure that just beat any sex experience I've ever had.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a priest, doctor, and therapist after this weekend.
You came walking in the backyard at 10am, in cowboy boots, a new shirt, and had no money,....we lost you for 15 hours....i think you just need a camera crew, or an assistant. IMPRESSED!
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
Jesus fuck. I just hit on him in front of the whole fire department. They hit the sirens and told us to get a room. FML. I can never go back to that fire station again...
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
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