had no condoms so I just made do with an empty doritos bag.
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I'm hearing voices and sirens. I'm scared. I heard a manatee out there.
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