She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
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I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
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