Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
this just has baby written all over it
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
I swear he shrunk like 2 inches. Remind me that drunk sex needs to remain drunk sex.
where are you?
Hypothermia
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Okay I take that back some girl just said pussy sweat. Get me outta here
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
No I kepy moaning and just called out a name to make them believe I was actually having sex instead of masturbating.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
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