I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh my gosh they are following me around the bar
Blow your rape whistle
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I started crying then my dog licked his dick so yeah.. Kind of ruined the moment.
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
Randomize