Don't make out with my wife yet
I swear she didn't look like that last week.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
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He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
My favorite bartender added me on Facebook. Now he can clearly see how under 21 I am
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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