used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
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she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
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I just spilled a shot of Patron on your mom.. Body shots may be happening. You better get here quick.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
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