Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
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I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
Is it too forward to say "stop being a good friend and start being a good fuck buddy"
Great night. I'm in the middle of explaining to her how the stock market works and she just rips my pants off and starts blowing me. Nerdiest blowjob ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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