I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
FUCK YOU. AH. FUCK BOTH OF US MORE BOOZE.
MAS TEQUILA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
he used the hotel microwave to cook the 16" pizza he bought at the walmart deli
He used a "food city great value" card to cut it
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Randomize