Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
I awoke this morning alone and naked in my bed I forecast my date later not going so well because I have three giant hickies on my neck there is a note next to my bed that looks a 3rd grader wrote it on my college acceptance letter
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
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