I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
We fucked on a kid's slide, my vagina is singing praises of being used
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Oh and .... you'll love this: my life coach says you writing my online dating profile isn't a horrible idea.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Randomize