Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
I'm giving great sideboob & it's being wasted on my parents.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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