batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Reason # 294827284949272 i could never be a cop. I would just shoot. All the time. Ppl. Animals. Inanimate objects. Air.
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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