The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
you were trying to control your nosebleed while having someone hold your four loko while you drank it through a straw. all at the same time. that is commitment.
He told his ice cream cone it 'looked cute' and then started to cry. The Dairy Queen people were not pleased.
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
Randomize