glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
You know I base where I go on the likelihood of me getting laid there. This includes work.
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize