..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing ruins a good sext like too many emoticons
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
You can't just leave with hair like that
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
A relationship is waiting for him to fall asleep so you can cum (finally!) while watching porn
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Randomize