I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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