I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Even though I wasn't drunk last night, I peed in the sink just so I could keep my record going
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
I'm not really sure if I peed the bed last night or if the cat was trying to get back at me for using her litter box last weekend
Never joke about your clitoris.
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